Suffering from anxiety is very distressing and can be debilitating at times. Having the right mindset will make all the difference in being able to conquer it. Usually people suffering from social anxiety fear how other people perceive them. It is very important to learn ways to becoming more accepting of yourself and feeling good about yourself. If you feel comfortable in your own skin when you walk into a room of people, others are more likely to also be accepting and respectful of who you are. People can sense these things. You are stuck with you so commit to begin to make some changes.
Now this all sounds good in theory but when you are in the midst of an anxiety attack, one can feel helpless and be bombarded with negative thoughts. In order to change that, I invite you to start becoming self-aware so you can begin to shift the negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and healthy ones. When you get home at night, write down the negative self-beliefs that popped up for you during the day and start telling yourself you are going to work hard to heal these and let them go. You can find lists of cognition online to help you make sense of your thoughts or self-beliefs.
Psychology Today also shares some great tips to help you start to make the shift towards conquering social anxiety.
Instead of feeling weak and inferior to others, begin to recognize that we all have our own individual qualities and traits. There will be many people throughout the course of your life who will appreciate who you are and value you as a person. Start writing down some of your positive traits and values. If you need help getting started, ask a trusted friend or family member to help you out. You can also research these things online to help you gain a broader understanding.
Instead of thinking about people’s judgments and critique of you, recognize that everyone has flaws – including you and that’s okay.
The reality is that people who are worried about the judgments of others are often people who are doing a lot of the judging themselves. Start learning to accept everyone as an individual who is allowed to live their life the way they want to and so are you! There really is no cookie-cutter way. Learn to accept and view differences as a positive thing – it’s what keeps life interesting. Judging others is a big waste of your time and energy. It can become time well spent if you start focusing on ways to start improving your relationship with yourself. Why live in such a state of negativity?
To be totally honest and lay it out, judging others is an attempt to feel better about yourself by putting others down. People who are actually confident do not need to think insulting things of others. It really says more about how you feel about yourself than it does about the person you are judging. There are many other productive ways to increase your self-esteem and confidence levels.
Instead of fearing disapproval, recognize that even great leaders are not liked by everyone. Also, it is okay for you to make mistakes or stand-out sometimes. These are great learning opportunities to have some self-growth and learn what you need to do next time. Or, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable in that moment and see that you did not die (some people’s fears are that strong). Next time it might not seem so bad thanks to the ability of our nervous system to be able to desensitize to situations that seem fearful after actually surviving it. You can hopefully begin to encourage more growth of confidence in yourself when you get through some tough situations.
About Performance Standards:
Instead of aiming for 100% success, recognize that we are all human beings and we don’t need to achieve 100% all the time. Striving for perfection is putting extra pressure on yourself in which might already be a stressful situation. Do your very best and then let it go; that is all you can do.
Want to know more? Read the complete article on the Psychology Today website.
Please sign up for your free ebook and blog notifications in the yellow box to the left.
The free ebook explains more about how your brain works.
You can also contact Janel directly for a free phone consultation or to set up a counselling appointment:
Centrally located downtown Vancouver.